And life goes on, with cake

We’ve been in Nashville almost two months now.

I’m pausing as I think about this. There are ups and downs to life at the moment. We’ve had Brian’s family here for two weekends in a row, which was wonderful. It is truly a joy to have them within driving distance. At the same time, I haven’t seen my parents in almost two months, which is the longest I’ve gone in probably five years. (Another pause to swallow the lump in my throat as I think about that fact.) The lack of friends and a church home has become taxing. Thankfully there are our friends by phone and Facebook, and new, kind and supportive coworkers. But it’s that moment when you walk into Costco and realize it’s laid out backwards from your Costco in Wisconsin and then you want to cry a bit.

Our apartment kitchen continues to aggravate me – I feel like I’ve lost my cooking mojo. I’m trying to push through that feeling, because I find joy in making dinner or treats for my family, and I don’t want to let one crappy space stop me. I’ll let you know how that goes.

House hunting is also challenging, of course. The part that’s hardest is the lack of knowledge about the greater Nashville area. If we were doing this hunt in Milwaukee, we’d know exactly what the communities were like, and the pros and cons of each one. If we were in North Carolina, we’d build a house on the family land. But we’re in a new city, and we need to take the schools into consideration. We’re priced out of the best school systems and sometimes that bothers me and sometimes I can’t care and sometimes I think “maybe we’ll be able to afford it in 10 years when it really matters,” but Brian gives me a look that says “I’m never moving again, don’t ask me.” We need to take traffic into consideration and we’ve got next to no one to ask about anything, except our realtor, who is great, but she has a stake in this conversation and that needs to be considered. He and I have gone round and round about what we want in a home and we keep going back to our dream of land. A few acres. Not in the suburbs. Somewhere with a garden big enough to be classified as a “hobby farm” and a few chickens. But close to the city, with the good schools, please! And not expensive.

It’s making my head spin.

And I miss our friends. Most of whom have scattered across the country – this was the year for moving, apparently. I’m glad we weren’t left behind to endure another year of the job hunt but I long for this time last year, happy and pregnant, scheming lake weekends and cookouts, long dinners on my parents’ deck and bible study with my girlfriends. Of course, now we have our little boy, which is so much better than anticipating our little boy. He makes new noises every day, he sits up on his own, he eats like a piglet. He’s always happy and giggling (when he’s not exhausted) and we can’t believe we’re lucky enough to be his parents. So while I wait for a routine to fall into place, I take joy in my husband and son, even in our teeny apartment.

And I make cake. I failed to have brown sugar in the house - I'm convinced I don't remember to pick up a pantry staple as simple as brown sugar because I don't have anywhere to put it. I had planned on making homemade brown sugar with molasses, but then I didn't have that either. So I made it with Sorghum Syrup, a sweetener from my home state.

Peach & Blueberry Buckle
Adapted from multiple recipes

1 3/4 c AP Flour
2 tsp Baking Powder
1/2 tsp Salt
1 stick Butter, at room temperature
1 cup White Sugar
2 tbsp Sorghum (or molasses, if that's what you've got)
1 large Egg, at room temperature
1/2 c Sour Cream
3 Peaches, skinned and cut into pieces
1/2 pint Blueberries
Sliced Almonds

Preheat your oven to 350. Whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt and set aside. Pour the sugar into a stand mixer and add the sorghum. Blend until there are no bits of syrup and it resembles brown sugar. Add the butter and beat until light and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Beat in the egg. To the butter and sugar, add half the flour, all the sour cream, and the rest of the flour, in that order. Combine each before adding the next, stopping to scrape down the sides. Pour into an 8x8 container and top with a layer of sliced almonds. Bake until a toothpick comes out clean, 1 hour to 1 hour & 20 minutes (mine took the full time). Let cool slightly, but serve still warm.