At Caleb's 18 month well-baby check-up, his pediatrician asked me to guess how many words he knows. Maybe I wrote about this already? I guessed 15. Thinking about it later, I was definitely low, but either way, she assured me that by Caleb's behavior in the visit, he was on the verge of a vocabulary explosion.
And man, was she right!!
Last night Brian and I lay in bed and tried to count how many words Caleb says.
Rice
Read
Moon
Airplane, Acorn, Abby (they sound exactly the same, so you have to use context clues.)
Truck
Bus
Swing
Outside!
Football, touchdown, tackle, BOOM!
Watch
Ohio
And many, many more. (More??) It blows our mind everyday. He know all the major body parts, and is starting on what I might consider "advanced:" cheeks, elbow. He counts to five. He knows all our extended family's names. Animal sounds are out of this world.
His teachers are teaching him Spanish, and report that he has a very high interest in both English and Spanish vocabulary. Right now his most common spanish words are Rana (frog) and Cuatro (four).
We were well above fifty when we stopped counting.
I'm sure every parent lays awake, in awe of their kid's learning skills. We watched Caleb turn on the tv by himself yesterday morning. He asked for football.
I'm not sure if all kids are like this, but Caleb just loves to try on new words. He repeats everything. It's such a privilege to walk along side him, and guide him, as he continues to grow up and learn new skills.
Friday, September 25, 2015
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Doing a New Thing
Well I certainly didn't mean to be away this long. I was homesick, then I ate a ton of Swedish pancakes, the weather changed, and I went off to seminary in Ohio.
One of those things is not like the other, right?
I started Seminary this past week. We kicked off with a bang, a mess of first year students ranging from their mid-twenties to...fifties? sixties? I think we all arrived with our doubts, our unknowns, our uncertainty. We were told we had responded to an invitation from God, like God had sent us a vellum backed invitation via white dove:
God, the Son and the Holy Spirit cordially invites you to:
A New Life
September 14, 2015
8am
Christ UMC
Please RSVP (yes)
Can't you just see it with a olive branch motif around the edges?
We were told we had been split into groups that would be diverse. I found myself the youngest in my group by 14 years. The only person not licensed for ministry, not pastoring a church. The only white girl. I called Brian halfway through the first day, on the verge of tears. "I feel like I have nothing to contribute," I told him. He talked me down, assuring me that my age and experience were an illusion- I still had graces from God that would be a gift to the group. I presented the prework I had done to my group that afternoon: an oral telling of a spiritually significant event. I, of course, had written mine out in its entirety, like a manuscript preacher would. I didn't want to forget an important point. I didn't want to mess up my words. I didn't want to look stupid and inexperienced. I won't lie: I worked really hard, for weeks, on this piece of writing and storytelling.
When the woman sitting to my left invited me to share, I pulled out my papers and slowly found my voice. I had read this out loud before, practicing in the car. I tried to think of it as a gift to my group members: I was letting them in on a really rough point in my life, and they would know me and my story better after hearing it. I was only person reading fully from a manuscript, and I tried not to let that affect me. The assignment had clearly stated we could bring notes, and I had read the assignment probably 20 times. (I had also read all the books for this class ahead of time, but that's neither here nor there.) I summoned all twenty years of acting experience and told my story.
I won't go into a "humblebrag." I'll state a full on brag: I received praise. I was told I had a gift for writing, and storytelling. For preaching. I haven't received affirmation like that since college- I felt like I was absolutely in my right place. My group leaders and members prayed over me, thanking God for my presence with them, affirming my call to ministry, asking God to remove obstacles from path, lifting me up as a beloved daughter of God.
The entire week was one affirming moment after another. I met my two professors for my online classes. I heard inspiring preaching. I was anointed. I saw God's plan unfold for something I had been worried about. I spent most of the morning worship service on the second day in tears, singing "Bless the Lord, Oh my Soul," knowing that this was right move for me. Seminary, United, my call to be a leader, to speak God's Holy word, learning to bless the Lord.
I did a fair amount of note-taking that week, so I won't go into it all here, but I wanted to capture what the first week of seminary felt like, when I feel like I'm lost and drowning. The closer I got to leaving for Ohio, the more my excitement to start school ebbed. I had some issues at work concerning school and I began to think this had been a terrible, horrible idea. What if I couldn't handle the workload, and my family suffered? What if I put our family in debt for nothing? How would I tell my colleagues I was not called to ministry, it had been a mistake.
I thought, perhaps, I should just take up quilting, instead of the immense undertaking of graduate school.
In the denomination I grew up in, we call that nasty voice "mortal mind." Some call it the devil, the tempter, the evil. In truth, it was nothing but mortal mind asking me to take up quilting instead of ministry. God's voice was so loud last week, drowning out the doubts and concerns. I didn't realize how desperately I needed last week until I stood in that church feeling the Christ, the Holy Spirit, there with us, blessing each of us as we claimed our place as leaders in the Kingdom.
Bless the Lord, oh my Soul...There's a new day dawning...
One of those things is not like the other, right?
I started Seminary this past week. We kicked off with a bang, a mess of first year students ranging from their mid-twenties to...fifties? sixties? I think we all arrived with our doubts, our unknowns, our uncertainty. We were told we had responded to an invitation from God, like God had sent us a vellum backed invitation via white dove:
God, the Son and the Holy Spirit cordially invites you to:
A New Life
September 14, 2015
8am
Christ UMC
Please RSVP (yes)
Can't you just see it with a olive branch motif around the edges?
We were told we had been split into groups that would be diverse. I found myself the youngest in my group by 14 years. The only person not licensed for ministry, not pastoring a church. The only white girl. I called Brian halfway through the first day, on the verge of tears. "I feel like I have nothing to contribute," I told him. He talked me down, assuring me that my age and experience were an illusion- I still had graces from God that would be a gift to the group. I presented the prework I had done to my group that afternoon: an oral telling of a spiritually significant event. I, of course, had written mine out in its entirety, like a manuscript preacher would. I didn't want to forget an important point. I didn't want to mess up my words. I didn't want to look stupid and inexperienced. I won't lie: I worked really hard, for weeks, on this piece of writing and storytelling.
When the woman sitting to my left invited me to share, I pulled out my papers and slowly found my voice. I had read this out loud before, practicing in the car. I tried to think of it as a gift to my group members: I was letting them in on a really rough point in my life, and they would know me and my story better after hearing it. I was only person reading fully from a manuscript, and I tried not to let that affect me. The assignment had clearly stated we could bring notes, and I had read the assignment probably 20 times. (I had also read all the books for this class ahead of time, but that's neither here nor there.) I summoned all twenty years of acting experience and told my story.
I won't go into a "humblebrag." I'll state a full on brag: I received praise. I was told I had a gift for writing, and storytelling. For preaching. I haven't received affirmation like that since college- I felt like I was absolutely in my right place. My group leaders and members prayed over me, thanking God for my presence with them, affirming my call to ministry, asking God to remove obstacles from path, lifting me up as a beloved daughter of God.
The entire week was one affirming moment after another. I met my two professors for my online classes. I heard inspiring preaching. I was anointed. I saw God's plan unfold for something I had been worried about. I spent most of the morning worship service on the second day in tears, singing "Bless the Lord, Oh my Soul," knowing that this was right move for me. Seminary, United, my call to be a leader, to speak God's Holy word, learning to bless the Lord.
I did a fair amount of note-taking that week, so I won't go into it all here, but I wanted to capture what the first week of seminary felt like, when I feel like I'm lost and drowning. The closer I got to leaving for Ohio, the more my excitement to start school ebbed. I had some issues at work concerning school and I began to think this had been a terrible, horrible idea. What if I couldn't handle the workload, and my family suffered? What if I put our family in debt for nothing? How would I tell my colleagues I was not called to ministry, it had been a mistake.
I thought, perhaps, I should just take up quilting, instead of the immense undertaking of graduate school.
In the denomination I grew up in, we call that nasty voice "mortal mind." Some call it the devil, the tempter, the evil. In truth, it was nothing but mortal mind asking me to take up quilting instead of ministry. God's voice was so loud last week, drowning out the doubts and concerns. I didn't realize how desperately I needed last week until I stood in that church feeling the Christ, the Holy Spirit, there with us, blessing each of us as we claimed our place as leaders in the Kingdom.
Bless the Lord, oh my Soul...There's a new day dawning...
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Caught Somewhere In the Middle
Homesickness is a funny thing.
I haven't written much about this recently. It can come off as complain-y. Instead, I write emails to my best friend who's dealing with the same affliction. Nevertheless homesickness has come on strong in the past few weeks. I blame the sale of my parents' house, my "home" in Wisconsin, in Wisconsin, my house, which I miss so very much and didn't realize how attached I had become until I left. This is where the complain-y part comes in, you see, my parents are moving here, right down the road. We'll see them once a week, at least, again. They will babysit when Caleb gets sick unexpectedly, or we need a night out. My mom will call me from the grocery store, a call that evolves from "these cherries are on sale, and look really good, do you want me to pick you a bag?" and ends with "we're having roast for dinner, do you guys just want to come over?" and I'll say "yes!" I'm so very, very glad they will be here.
But all of a sudden I have no home in Wisconsin. Wisconsin! A place I did not think I was attached to, because I hate the Packers and I love Southern cooking. Right? And yet, I'm terribly, terribly homesick and the week before last was the worst, holding back tears at the office, feeling all the feelings about losing the home when I got dressed for 2 proms, packed for college, came home from my first date with my husband (and lots of other first dates!), got ready for my wedding and my son took his first steps. Feelings, so very many feelings.
My friends who visited (from Wisconsin!) asked me "What's your favorite part about living in Tennessee?" and in my homesick mind my first thought was "Well, we have jobs. And that's about it." It was snarky and I didn't say it out loud. There are plenty of things I like about Tennessee: springtime, the longer growing season, live music everywhere, lots of bbq. I could counter with all the things that I'd prefer in Wisconsin: the summer, sweet corn & tart cherries, fish fries, snow at Christmas, my home church that I still miss, the ability to pronounce all the funny Indian names of towns that we don't have down here.
I find myself caught in the middle in the kitchen. I recently picked up The New Midwestern Table, by Amy Thielen, who lives in the Northern reaches of Wisconsin. I made Swedish Pancakes, a dish popularized at a restaurant in Door County with goats on the roof. I've now made them twice, they are exceedingly easy. They are a definite cure for some of the homesick blues.
I haven't written much about this recently. It can come off as complain-y. Instead, I write emails to my best friend who's dealing with the same affliction. Nevertheless homesickness has come on strong in the past few weeks. I blame the sale of my parents' house, my "home" in Wisconsin, in Wisconsin, my house, which I miss so very much and didn't realize how attached I had become until I left. This is where the complain-y part comes in, you see, my parents are moving here, right down the road. We'll see them once a week, at least, again. They will babysit when Caleb gets sick unexpectedly, or we need a night out. My mom will call me from the grocery store, a call that evolves from "these cherries are on sale, and look really good, do you want me to pick you a bag?" and ends with "we're having roast for dinner, do you guys just want to come over?" and I'll say "yes!" I'm so very, very glad they will be here.
But all of a sudden I have no home in Wisconsin. Wisconsin! A place I did not think I was attached to, because I hate the Packers and I love Southern cooking. Right? And yet, I'm terribly, terribly homesick and the week before last was the worst, holding back tears at the office, feeling all the feelings about losing the home when I got dressed for 2 proms, packed for college, came home from my first date with my husband (and lots of other first dates!), got ready for my wedding and my son took his first steps. Feelings, so very many feelings.
My friends who visited (from Wisconsin!) asked me "What's your favorite part about living in Tennessee?" and in my homesick mind my first thought was "Well, we have jobs. And that's about it." It was snarky and I didn't say it out loud. There are plenty of things I like about Tennessee: springtime, the longer growing season, live music everywhere, lots of bbq. I could counter with all the things that I'd prefer in Wisconsin: the summer, sweet corn & tart cherries, fish fries, snow at Christmas, my home church that I still miss, the ability to pronounce all the funny Indian names of towns that we don't have down here.
I find myself caught in the middle in the kitchen. I recently picked up The New Midwestern Table, by Amy Thielen, who lives in the Northern reaches of Wisconsin. I made Swedish Pancakes, a dish popularized at a restaurant in Door County with goats on the roof. I've now made them twice, they are exceedingly easy. They are a definite cure for some of the homesick blues.
They definitely had a Southern twang served with Bourbon Poached Peaches instead of Lingonberries. My sister has strict instructions to bring some with her from IKEA.
Also, this cookbook is amazing, it's on my Christmas list. I will be checking it out from the library repeatedly until then. Every recipe I've tried is outstanding, they have obviously been thoroughly tested and well written.
But then, yesterday, I stopped at the farm stand in town. It sets up on T/Th/Sat and has a small variety of fruits and vegetables. It's not everything I might find at a farmer's market, but what it lacks in variety, it makes up for in convenience. I can pull right up to the tent, leaving the car running with Caleb and grab a handful of things for dinner. Everything is $2 a pound, grown in a small town just west of us, maybe 20 minutes away or so. The Southern part of my heart thrilled to see a basket of okra. I was introduced to okra, fried, in college in Texas. Brian loves it and I hoped Caleb might see it as a version of a french fry (he didn't, but he did at least try it twice). I took it, and some exceedingly nice plums and passed on the peaches, but might go back later this week because peaches are only here for so long! I fried it up, sans recipe, because I can fry okra with my eyes closed. And that makes me feel a little bit more at home here.
Simple Fried Okra
I like okra cut longwise, into long strips as you see above. They've easier to pick up and less work than the small rounds you often see.
1 handful okra, or however much you want to feed your family. I do not enjoy reheated fried okra, so I try to fry just enough for the one meal.
Wet: 1 egg + a nice splash of meat + cajun seasoning. Whisk together. I would add something spicy if I weren't trying to get Caleb to try it. You could also use salt and pepper instead of the cajun season if you prefer, but go easy with the salt. You can always salt them later, hot out of the oil.
Dry: Equal parts self-rising flour and cornmeal. I like the yellow cornmeal. You could use All-Purpose flour, I liked the way the self-rising flour made the breading extra puffy.
Bring a heavy pot with about an inch of oil up to frying temperature. I used Peanut oil, Canola or Vegetable is also fine. I didn't tend to use a themometer here. I just turn the heat on high and keep an eye on it- you want it to shimmer, not smoke. Flick in a little of the flour mixture to test it. When it start sizzling, turn down the heat a touch and toss in your okra - not all at once. If it sizzles too fast, turn down your heat a lot.
Toss the okra in the wet, then the dry, then into the oil it goes! Keep an eye on it. If it browns too quick, turn down your heat. Pull it out with a slotted spot when it's golden brown and put it in a paper towel lined bowl or basket or pin tin. I like to sprinkle a little seasoning salt on top, but taste before you do! Over-salted okra is no good.
Brian and I cannot keeps our hands out of this before we get to the dinner table. It's just too good!
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Garden Update, Early August
So here's what's going on with the garden: It's freaking hot and the bugs are EVERYWHERE. I have zero motivation to get out and weed or even pull the plants that need to be pulled. The most time I want to spend out there is to pick a few ripe tomatoes and beans and get the H out.
My summer as a fledgling Tennessee gardener isn't going as well as I had planned. I'm writing this blog post to remind my January and February self not to over plan for next year. Here's what I'm thinking right now:
More tomatoes. The tomatoes are doing really well and I would focus on the small tomatoes. The garden plot just doesn't get enough sun for the bigger varieties. There are so many different kinds of miniature tomatoes and it would be fun to explore those.
Flowers! Next year I definitely want to plant some flowers. Zinnies, Calendula, Sunflowers. I would consider using study sunflowers as support for beans.
Beans. I'd definitely grow beans again, now that mine are finally producing like crazy. I would like to try using the fence of my garden as the main supports. I think that would be a great use of my space, to run the climbing varieties around the perimeter.
And like I said before, peas. The sugar snap and snow peas were great, so I would grow those again as well, also around the perimeter of the garden.
Speaking of the amount of sunlight, I'd also like to tackle more trimming this winter. It's just too hot and buggy to spend a ton of time outside, up in the branches, right now. Winter and early spring is definitely the time to do that.
So beans and peas around the outside, flowers and tomatoes inside, with some greens maybe. My herbs are doing great on the deck and I definitely prefer to have them close to the kitchen. So that's all for this time of year in the garden!
My summer as a fledgling Tennessee gardener isn't going as well as I had planned. I'm writing this blog post to remind my January and February self not to over plan for next year. Here's what I'm thinking right now:
More tomatoes. The tomatoes are doing really well and I would focus on the small tomatoes. The garden plot just doesn't get enough sun for the bigger varieties. There are so many different kinds of miniature tomatoes and it would be fun to explore those.
Flowers! Next year I definitely want to plant some flowers. Zinnies, Calendula, Sunflowers. I would consider using study sunflowers as support for beans.
Beans. I'd definitely grow beans again, now that mine are finally producing like crazy. I would like to try using the fence of my garden as the main supports. I think that would be a great use of my space, to run the climbing varieties around the perimeter.
And like I said before, peas. The sugar snap and snow peas were great, so I would grow those again as well, also around the perimeter of the garden.
Speaking of the amount of sunlight, I'd also like to tackle more trimming this winter. It's just too hot and buggy to spend a ton of time outside, up in the branches, right now. Winter and early spring is definitely the time to do that.
So beans and peas around the outside, flowers and tomatoes inside, with some greens maybe. My herbs are doing great on the deck and I definitely prefer to have them close to the kitchen. So that's all for this time of year in the garden!
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
What I Love, Mid-Summer
Our wi-fi reaches out to the garden and I often listen to podcasts out there, although right now I get in and out as fast as possible, before I'm eaten alive by mosquitoes. I mention this because my green beans must have access to the internet. No sooner than did I post their imminent destruction than lo and behold! Fully grown green beans! On the vine! Let's go, beans!
We are in the dog days of summer here. Temps reach well into the 90's every day and it doesn't get below 75. Our play is mostly inside after dinner, and Caleb's school is mindful of that as well. So what am I loving during this hot, humid weather?
Listening: Gravy Podcast. Episode 17, A Charleston Feast for Reconciliation, is the one that struck an emotional chord in me. A dinner party mirroring a post-Civil War dinner party took place in Charleston between the murder of Walter Scott and the mass shooting at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church. To hear the host and dinner party guests speak about the need for racial reconciliation, knowing what takes places only a few weeks later, is heartbreaking. It is excellently done and I highly recommend it.
Reading: Hungry Monkey, by Matthew Amster-Burton. It's part cookbook, part memoir, which is one of my favorite types of books. Matthew writes about feeding his daughter, from the time she is born through her toddler years. It reaffirms that my kid doesn't need to eat everything (vegetables are just about gone from his plate). Caleb very well might order chicken strips for more than a few years, much like I did, and still grow up and discover condiments and Brussels sprouts in his 20's, much like I did.
Also? Don't judge, but Amish Christian fiction. I can't fully explain the appeal, except that it's a total escape from real life. There's love! And love of God, which comes so easily without any reservations or denominational infighting or theological wrestling! And lots of amazing food! I mostly read it on my Kindle so no one can see.
Cooking: On the grill. Everything, on the grill. Yes, it's hot, but it doesn't seem so bad when there are burgers and strips of squash on the grill and a sweating cocktail in your left hand. Monday night we had pimento cheeseburgers with grilled onions and peppers. I bake frozen french fries in the oven and it's a meal. Last night I tried a foil packet, stuffed with sliced potatoes, onions, bell peppers and crumbled hamburger. Half an hour of unattended time later, everything was tender and ready to eat. I might make everything in foil packets ever. Next week will include hot dogs, in an effort to use some frozen hot dog buns. I might wrap them in bacon. We'll see. I bet the Amish could use grills if they wanted.
My attempt to make ice cream every week has not been successful, but last night I finally made the Spicy Mexican Brownie Chocolate Ice Cream I've had on the brain for weeks. It was crazy good.
And that's about it as we roll into August!
We are in the dog days of summer here. Temps reach well into the 90's every day and it doesn't get below 75. Our play is mostly inside after dinner, and Caleb's school is mindful of that as well. So what am I loving during this hot, humid weather?
Listening: Gravy Podcast. Episode 17, A Charleston Feast for Reconciliation, is the one that struck an emotional chord in me. A dinner party mirroring a post-Civil War dinner party took place in Charleston between the murder of Walter Scott and the mass shooting at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church. To hear the host and dinner party guests speak about the need for racial reconciliation, knowing what takes places only a few weeks later, is heartbreaking. It is excellently done and I highly recommend it.
Reading: Hungry Monkey, by Matthew Amster-Burton. It's part cookbook, part memoir, which is one of my favorite types of books. Matthew writes about feeding his daughter, from the time she is born through her toddler years. It reaffirms that my kid doesn't need to eat everything (vegetables are just about gone from his plate). Caleb very well might order chicken strips for more than a few years, much like I did, and still grow up and discover condiments and Brussels sprouts in his 20's, much like I did.
Also? Don't judge, but Amish Christian fiction. I can't fully explain the appeal, except that it's a total escape from real life. There's love! And love of God, which comes so easily without any reservations or denominational infighting or theological wrestling! And lots of amazing food! I mostly read it on my Kindle so no one can see.
Cooking: On the grill. Everything, on the grill. Yes, it's hot, but it doesn't seem so bad when there are burgers and strips of squash on the grill and a sweating cocktail in your left hand. Monday night we had pimento cheeseburgers with grilled onions and peppers. I bake frozen french fries in the oven and it's a meal. Last night I tried a foil packet, stuffed with sliced potatoes, onions, bell peppers and crumbled hamburger. Half an hour of unattended time later, everything was tender and ready to eat. I might make everything in foil packets ever. Next week will include hot dogs, in an effort to use some frozen hot dog buns. I might wrap them in bacon. We'll see. I bet the Amish could use grills if they wanted.
My attempt to make ice cream every week has not been successful, but last night I finally made the Spicy Mexican Brownie Chocolate Ice Cream I've had on the brain for weeks. It was crazy good.
And that's about it as we roll into August!
Friday, July 24, 2015
Round Robin Catchup
I did not mean to be away this long. Let's go through all the things:
Caleb: He's 18 months old! He got tubes! It went great! Truly, while I understood the risks around even minor surgery, getting tubes was very easy for us and him. Two weeks later he's been seen by his pediatrician and his ENT specialist, with pronouncements of "ears look great!" That's something I haven't heard in over a year now, and I'm crossing my fingers that this continues.
Caleb is so much fun at 18 months old. He runs, he climbs, he sleeps, he eats, he's learning a new word every other day. Earlier in the week I had to guess how many words he can say and my mind blanked. I guessed 10. Thinking about it later though, I think it's between 25 and 30, between family names, animal names and noises, please, thank you, etc. As for what he can understand?? Everything. I'm convinced he can understand 90% of what we say clearly to him. Probably not Brian and my's dinner table conversation when we talk church and theology, but he'll follow commands like "Go find Daddy" or "Go put your shoes in their basket" or "Stop whining, what do we say?" "Please." He whines, a lot. That's my least favorite part of this stage. He doesn't use words for whining, just a whiny noise that he makes every time he wants something. It's rough and I find myself correcting him, a lot, along the lines of "Is that how we ask for something?" Then I make him sign please, sans whiny noise. It's probably a little much to ask an 18 month old, but I don't really care. I'm probably going to be a really strict mom. Oh well. In general he's a really great kid- he plays independently while I'm making dinner, with his blocks or trucks, or flipping through his books. He loves to roughhouse with Brian or on our bed. Flipping himself onto a pile of pillows and rolling around is his favorite activity. Watching him grow and learn is constantly entertaining!
The Garden: Oh my, the garden. I really, truly thought I'd be drowning in homegrown vegetables right now, late July. Instead, no. A trickle of tomatoes and cucumbers. Here's what happened:
First zucchini plant: Voles. Planted another, still small.
Yellow Squash: Squash vine borers. Gonna pull it this weekend.
Kale/Broccoli: Bugs. Heat. Gonna pull them this weekend.
Cucumber: Was great, now wilting, and not just from the heat. We'll see what happens.
Pole Beans: Jungle-esque vines, 0 beans. I don't know if they aren't being pollinated or what, but I'm about ready to take them down.
Purple cabbage: Hopefully still forming heads...
Bush beans: Produced a few beans, but are overshadowed by tomatoes and didn't get big.
Okra: Took forever, now overshadowed and crowded by other plants. Think I'm going to transplant them into the squash spot.
Delicata: Vine still looks good
Bell Peppers: Zero peppers.
Onions: Teensy-weensy
Tomatoes: The only thing thriving. Everything's starting to ripen.
I'm seriously considering just planting early peas and tomatoes next year. There are so many kinds of beautiful tomatoes, maybe I'll just focus on them. This year I've got a yellow pear (so pretty!), sungolds, red cherry tomatoes, some kind of medium red tomato and the heirloom brandywines. My only tomato issue is that my stakes aren't tall enough- the tomato vines are taller than I am. Next year I would consider planting some bush tomatoes, maybe a canning variety since bush tomatoes come in all at once.
This has been a rainy year, so I'm told. It seems rainy to me, I hardly ever water my garden. The heavy mulching I did with straw a couple months ago seems to hold in the moisture well. My front garden has a couple things too, my azaleas are blooming again.
In the Kitchen: Canning! I've been bit by the canning bug again, and I've put up blueberries, strawberries and peaches. We've been grilling a lot and I'm trying to keep our meals easy and simple, at least what I consider simple.
Weekend: We've got a fun weekend ahead of us. Family is coming in town for a Bachelor weekend my husband is hosting. Thankfully my sister-in-law is coming as well, to play with Caleb and I. We're going to break out the new baby pool I bought last weekend!
Caleb: He's 18 months old! He got tubes! It went great! Truly, while I understood the risks around even minor surgery, getting tubes was very easy for us and him. Two weeks later he's been seen by his pediatrician and his ENT specialist, with pronouncements of "ears look great!" That's something I haven't heard in over a year now, and I'm crossing my fingers that this continues.
Caleb is so much fun at 18 months old. He runs, he climbs, he sleeps, he eats, he's learning a new word every other day. Earlier in the week I had to guess how many words he can say and my mind blanked. I guessed 10. Thinking about it later though, I think it's between 25 and 30, between family names, animal names and noises, please, thank you, etc. As for what he can understand?? Everything. I'm convinced he can understand 90% of what we say clearly to him. Probably not Brian and my's dinner table conversation when we talk church and theology, but he'll follow commands like "Go find Daddy" or "Go put your shoes in their basket" or "Stop whining, what do we say?" "Please." He whines, a lot. That's my least favorite part of this stage. He doesn't use words for whining, just a whiny noise that he makes every time he wants something. It's rough and I find myself correcting him, a lot, along the lines of "Is that how we ask for something?" Then I make him sign please, sans whiny noise. It's probably a little much to ask an 18 month old, but I don't really care. I'm probably going to be a really strict mom. Oh well. In general he's a really great kid- he plays independently while I'm making dinner, with his blocks or trucks, or flipping through his books. He loves to roughhouse with Brian or on our bed. Flipping himself onto a pile of pillows and rolling around is his favorite activity. Watching him grow and learn is constantly entertaining!
The Garden: Oh my, the garden. I really, truly thought I'd be drowning in homegrown vegetables right now, late July. Instead, no. A trickle of tomatoes and cucumbers. Here's what happened:
First zucchini plant: Voles. Planted another, still small.
Yellow Squash: Squash vine borers. Gonna pull it this weekend.
Kale/Broccoli: Bugs. Heat. Gonna pull them this weekend.
Cucumber: Was great, now wilting, and not just from the heat. We'll see what happens.
Pole Beans: Jungle-esque vines, 0 beans. I don't know if they aren't being pollinated or what, but I'm about ready to take them down.
Purple cabbage: Hopefully still forming heads...
Bush beans: Produced a few beans, but are overshadowed by tomatoes and didn't get big.
Okra: Took forever, now overshadowed and crowded by other plants. Think I'm going to transplant them into the squash spot.
Delicata: Vine still looks good
Bell Peppers: Zero peppers.
Onions: Teensy-weensy
Tomatoes: The only thing thriving. Everything's starting to ripen.
I'm seriously considering just planting early peas and tomatoes next year. There are so many kinds of beautiful tomatoes, maybe I'll just focus on them. This year I've got a yellow pear (so pretty!), sungolds, red cherry tomatoes, some kind of medium red tomato and the heirloom brandywines. My only tomato issue is that my stakes aren't tall enough- the tomato vines are taller than I am. Next year I would consider planting some bush tomatoes, maybe a canning variety since bush tomatoes come in all at once.
This has been a rainy year, so I'm told. It seems rainy to me, I hardly ever water my garden. The heavy mulching I did with straw a couple months ago seems to hold in the moisture well. My front garden has a couple things too, my azaleas are blooming again.
In the Kitchen: Canning! I've been bit by the canning bug again, and I've put up blueberries, strawberries and peaches. We've been grilling a lot and I'm trying to keep our meals easy and simple, at least what I consider simple.
Weekend: We've got a fun weekend ahead of us. Family is coming in town for a Bachelor weekend my husband is hosting. Thankfully my sister-in-law is coming as well, to play with Caleb and I. We're going to break out the new baby pool I bought last weekend!
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
What's we're eating, Spring/Summer 2015
I started out blogging as food blogging and now...nothing! I'd like to try to get back to blogging about what we're eating. So what are we eating right now?
For one, it's getting crazy hot. That means popsicles and ice cream!
Cherry Almond Chocolate Frozen Custard - this was incredible and better yet, we were able to share it with dear friends who stayed with us Saturday night. Also for our friends I made these Strawberry Basil Margaritas. They were fantastic and they'll be my contribution to Beach Trip Drinking next week.
Strawberry - Coconut Yogurt popsicles - I worked off of these two recipes from Smitten Kitchen and Joy the Baker.
Strawberry Ice Cream, which tends to be my favorite.
It's my goal to make a new and interesting ice cream most weeks this summer. I mean, it's 90+ degrees everyday with 100% humidity and I work in the garden after Caleb goes to bed. I deserve a bowl of homemade ice cream. Next up on my list: Blueberry Cheesecake Ice Cream, also from Joy the Baker.
Dinners are the usual rotation of new items. I'm notoriously bad at repeating recipes, not when there are constantly new, delicious ones popping up on the many blogs I read! Last week we had savory breakfast for dinner, with these Bacon-Cheddar Corn Pancakes, from my favorite recipe developer at Serious Eats. Staples I fall back on fairly often are spaghetti with meatballs, a basic vegetable soup, and hamburgers on the grill. We're eating lots of grilled corn, squash and zucchini, from the farmers market. I also recently made these taquitos again- I first made them about 3 years ago, when our dear friends had their first baby. They are a baked chicken taquito, and Brian was thrilled when I pulled out a hidden pan of frozen ones this past weekend for Saturday lunch. If you're going to do all the chopping and rolling required for this recipe, double it and freeze some. I promise, you'll be sad if you don't. I also made a recipe out of the new Southern Living, Brown Sugar-Brined chicken breasts on the grill. They were fantastic.
A total fail, recently? Homemade english muffins. I won't link to the recipe, because I think it was user error. We continue to stick to the same dinner plan that I've been using for a couple years now. I plan 3 meals a week and stretch them for as long as possible. And Caleb? He eats toddler food. Blueberries, oranges, graham crackers, shredded cheese. The other night he ate 2 chicken nuggets and I was thrilled!
For one, it's getting crazy hot. That means popsicles and ice cream!
Cherry Almond Chocolate Frozen Custard - this was incredible and better yet, we were able to share it with dear friends who stayed with us Saturday night. Also for our friends I made these Strawberry Basil Margaritas. They were fantastic and they'll be my contribution to Beach Trip Drinking next week.
Strawberry - Coconut Yogurt popsicles - I worked off of these two recipes from Smitten Kitchen and Joy the Baker.
Strawberry Ice Cream, which tends to be my favorite.
It's my goal to make a new and interesting ice cream most weeks this summer. I mean, it's 90+ degrees everyday with 100% humidity and I work in the garden after Caleb goes to bed. I deserve a bowl of homemade ice cream. Next up on my list: Blueberry Cheesecake Ice Cream, also from Joy the Baker.
Dinners are the usual rotation of new items. I'm notoriously bad at repeating recipes, not when there are constantly new, delicious ones popping up on the many blogs I read! Last week we had savory breakfast for dinner, with these Bacon-Cheddar Corn Pancakes, from my favorite recipe developer at Serious Eats. Staples I fall back on fairly often are spaghetti with meatballs, a basic vegetable soup, and hamburgers on the grill. We're eating lots of grilled corn, squash and zucchini, from the farmers market. I also recently made these taquitos again- I first made them about 3 years ago, when our dear friends had their first baby. They are a baked chicken taquito, and Brian was thrilled when I pulled out a hidden pan of frozen ones this past weekend for Saturday lunch. If you're going to do all the chopping and rolling required for this recipe, double it and freeze some. I promise, you'll be sad if you don't. I also made a recipe out of the new Southern Living, Brown Sugar-Brined chicken breasts on the grill. They were fantastic.
A total fail, recently? Homemade english muffins. I won't link to the recipe, because I think it was user error. We continue to stick to the same dinner plan that I've been using for a couple years now. I plan 3 meals a week and stretch them for as long as possible. And Caleb? He eats toddler food. Blueberries, oranges, graham crackers, shredded cheese. The other night he ate 2 chicken nuggets and I was thrilled!
Monday, June 15, 2015
Mid June Garden Update
Update from the garden in June:
Voles! They're eating up the roots of my sugar snap and snow pea vines! I have to do some research on how to deal with them, but it's making me very sad. Despite the vole problem I'm getting a bumper crop of sugar snap and snow peas. I'm already thinking about how I'll plant peas next year in order to make the best use of my space. I love the branch teepees but letting them climb the side of chicken wire fence might take less space and work for the same reward. At the time, seeing them go sky high is beautiful...
I've finally put in stakes for my tomatoes. I'm going to try this trellising option...mostly because it's free. Brian made me the stakes from scrap wood in his shop. So now the tomatoes have some support. My three in the front container on our walkway already have blossoms open and tomatoes growing. I think those are sungolds, which makes sense- that variety has usually been early for me.
My cucumber has discovered the fence and is using that as support.
My herb garden is finally up and running. I've learned the hard way that herbs grow VERY slowly. It's worth it for me to buy a handful of starts in the spring. I found the sage plant this morning at the farmers market for $2. I also got a nice size bag of worm casings for $3, so most of my plants, especially the tomatoes, got a nice dressing of fertilizer tonight, with hay on top to help conserve water. It was 90 degrees today and it'll be warmer tomorrow so I expect to have to water tomorrow night.
Voles! They're eating up the roots of my sugar snap and snow pea vines! I have to do some research on how to deal with them, but it's making me very sad. Despite the vole problem I'm getting a bumper crop of sugar snap and snow peas. I'm already thinking about how I'll plant peas next year in order to make the best use of my space. I love the branch teepees but letting them climb the side of chicken wire fence might take less space and work for the same reward. At the time, seeing them go sky high is beautiful...
I've finally put in stakes for my tomatoes. I'm going to try this trellising option...mostly because it's free. Brian made me the stakes from scrap wood in his shop. So now the tomatoes have some support. My three in the front container on our walkway already have blossoms open and tomatoes growing. I think those are sungolds, which makes sense- that variety has usually been early for me.
My cucumber has discovered the fence and is using that as support.
My herb garden is finally up and running. I've learned the hard way that herbs grow VERY slowly. It's worth it for me to buy a handful of starts in the spring. I found the sage plant this morning at the farmers market for $2. I also got a nice size bag of worm casings for $3, so most of my plants, especially the tomatoes, got a nice dressing of fertilizer tonight, with hay on top to help conserve water. It was 90 degrees today and it'll be warmer tomorrow so I expect to have to water tomorrow night.
All in all, I'm really happy with the state of my garden. I've put in a lot of work, starting all the way back in January when I was hacking out a huge grass plant. I hand tilled the soil and amended it. I started all these plants from seed either inside under the grow light or outside in the ground.
What's not working right now? Okra. I think it's shaded between the tall tomato plants and beans on either side.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
My Favorite Podcasts
I only recently got turned onto podcasts. This is partly because when I got a new iPhone at Thanksgiving I splurged and got the one with more memory. Before, it was difficult to have enough room for pictures, a couple of apps and something like podcasts. Now I'm all set! And with my slightly longer commute, I really enjoy something besides the commercial-heavy Nashville radio stations. I also found I really like to listen to them while gardening. Mine are mostly farming/homesteading/cooking focused, but with a surprise thrown in at the end!
So here's a roundup of my favorite podcasts:
The Beginning Farmer is hosted by Ethan Book, a small meat farmer in Iowa. I'm like an armchair farmer. I love to read about it, the challenges, the successes, the different types of animals, the work that truly goes into making a life as a farmer. And Ethan still has an off-farm job. His podcast is funny and approachable. I'm not sure I have a favorite episode, as it's a weekly detailing of life on the farm.
Homesteady is hosted by Austin Martin. His podcast is somewhat new to me, but I like his style. Each podcast is focused on a different topic, like keeping chickens or breaking homemade bread. He also does these "Campfire" episodes that are focused on storytelling and so far that's been my favorite, it's the episode titled "Pioneers." The podcast is really well done (editing, music, etc.) I would suggest it for anyone remotely interested in homesteading.
I've listened to a few of the Living Homegrown podcast, which is fairly new, there are only a few episodes out. Theresa is seriously knowledgeable and I've looking forward to learning more about the hobbies I already enjoy, like gardening and canning. My favorite episode so far is episode 1 "Why Bother with Canning?" Her passion for this hobby comes through clearly and I heard myself in her words, especially that first hot summer in Chicago that I taught myself to can.
Spilled Milk is the podcast I've been listening to the longest. Hosted by Molly Wizenberg and Matthew Amster-Burton, it's 15-20 minutes focused on one food or dish. The latest one I listened to (while vacuuming!) was on soy sauce. I learned that Kroger soy sauce is the absolute worse ever, and apparently I don't even know what I'm missing. I'll be picking up a name brand in the future. They're funny and irreverent and half the episodes get an "explicit" rating because they make dirty jokes about green beans and dissolve into giggles.
Oh my goodness, Gravy. Gravy is the podcast produced by the Southern Foodways Alliance and if I could only recommend one podcast, this might take the cake. (Or the biscuits?) Gravy comes out biweekly with a story from the South that intertwines with food. My favorite episode might be the most recent- a reporter goes to her family home of Natchez, MS, which used to be a large community of Southern Jewish families that has since died out. It's eyeopening and funny but also sad, a way of life that is almost entirely lost. Every single episode is spectacular.
Ok, and here's the wildcard! My college roommate who just came to visit turned me onto this one. I've only listened to two episodes and I'm holding off on the others to save them for our beach road trip.
Disney Story Origins. Yup. It's an absolute pleasure to listen to, these are longform journalism in podcast form (we're talking an hour plus in length). I've listened to the Pocahontas and Sleeping Beauty episodes. In both cases the history and background stories were well researched. The host is funny and sarcastic, the perfect foil for all that Disney goodness. If you like Disney movies, I would highly recommend this one.
I've got a few more I'm just getting into: NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour, the Growing Farms Podcast, WesleyCast (hello dorky Methodist!), but I haven't listened to those enough to really recommend them. Over the next couple weeks I'll be saving all my new episodes, and going through back episodes, for road trip material.
Friday, May 29, 2015
Late May in the Garden
Late May in the garden is:
Everything running rampantly green...
Hunting for cabbage worms...
Successfully growing something I've never grown before!
Everything running rampantly green...
I now understand the "growing like a bean stalk" metaphor. These guys are taking off up the trellis! On the right hand side of this picture you can see the delicata squash I've got started in the middle of the patch.
In my kale, broccoli and cabbage plants. I'm spraying, but also picking off worms by hand.
My sugar snap peas are just about as tall as I am and FULL of little white blossoms.
The snow peas are a dwarf variety, so they're not as tall, but also producing blossoms well.
This greens patch is about to get mostly eaten up in salads this week, to make more room for that cucumber plant in the top left. I did that on purpose! I have more lettuce and spinach coming up in a different patch.
The zucchini plant is also expanding nicely. It's in the middle of the sugar snap pea trellis. When they're done a few weeks I'll pull them out and let the zucchini get nice and big.
I have a hard time getting a great shot of the whole garden, but I love how GREEN it is! Everything is growing!
Thursday, May 21, 2015
From Understanding to Faith
Another reflection on the lectionary reading.
Lately I've seen a higher number of urgent requests for prayers, both who I know and in social media: a coworker with a close friend dying, a mom with cancer, a grandparent in decline, a newborn who's not going to live. Then there were prayers of blessings I wanted to send out, healthy babies being born and celebrated. Perhaps there are always this many prayer requests in my newsfeed but I don't notice them. But I noticed them this time and I felt a little hopeless. I thought about these people and I thought about prayer the entire way home on Tuesday. I left the radio off and hoped my prayers while driving counted. I thought about the fact that a life in ministry means receiving a lot more urgent prayer requests. I thought about praying for people through social media and what does that mean?
My upbringing taught me about the power of prayer. Prayer heals all manner of sickness, physical, emotional, relational. I believe that. I believe that God hears our prayers directly from our hearts and it doesn't really matter how we say or think them in the English language. But when you're feeling weighed down it's heartening to read in your lectionary passage:
Romans 8: 26-27
Lately I've seen a higher number of urgent requests for prayers, both who I know and in social media: a coworker with a close friend dying, a mom with cancer, a grandparent in decline, a newborn who's not going to live. Then there were prayers of blessings I wanted to send out, healthy babies being born and celebrated. Perhaps there are always this many prayer requests in my newsfeed but I don't notice them. But I noticed them this time and I felt a little hopeless. I thought about these people and I thought about prayer the entire way home on Tuesday. I left the radio off and hoped my prayers while driving counted. I thought about the fact that a life in ministry means receiving a lot more urgent prayer requests. I thought about praying for people through social media and what does that mean?
My upbringing taught me about the power of prayer. Prayer heals all manner of sickness, physical, emotional, relational. I believe that. I believe that God hears our prayers directly from our hearts and it doesn't really matter how we say or think them in the English language. But when you're feeling weighed down it's heartening to read in your lectionary passage:
...the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit...
Romans 8: 26-27
"Intercedes with sighs too deep for words...who searches the heart..."Such beautiful words about God's relationship with us. God does not rely upon words as a method of communication. Sometimes it takes a beautiful, truthful passage like this that transforms my "understanding" that God hears our prayers (even in the car) back into faith.
Monday, May 18, 2015
Caleb - 16 Months
Caleb at sixteen months is a 2 foot tall spitfire of a child. He's off and running from the moment he awakes to the moment he goes down. We've got a fun routine where I get him up, changed and dressed for the day, then say "Go find Daddy for breakfast!" He runs as fast as he can across the length of the house to find Brian sitting in the kitchen, waiting for him and he always giggles and hollers when he sees Daddy. It's the cutest thing ever and I love that I don't have to carry him around as much. For the most part he's a happy kid, full of smiles and giggles, but that toddler stubbornness has emerged in full force. When he wants something, he can make it fully clear.
His favorite thing to do is go outside. He wants to run around, to grab dandelions, play with the other kids on our street. He wants to be taken for a ride in the stroller, and he tells you by getting the stroller and trying to pull it out of the garage himself. He prefers not to walk on the grass. He waves excitedly at anybody passing by. He assumes everyone, especially kids, want to be his friend and will walk right up to them and ask for the ball they are playing with. He runs with abandon, propelling those tiny legs forward with no regard for the hard pavement below.
His favorite foods continue to be fruit: applesauce, mandarin orange. And french fries. He's shown an interest in my green smoothies, mostly because they taste like fruit! And yogurt, he'll eat an entire cup for a snack. The new food I was surprised by with him is corn dogs. That kid will eat a corn dog like nobody's business. He's still at the stage where, when he's full, he's full. There's no, "but I want dessert."
Post-dinner is chase time. No matter when we are, when he's done, he expects someone to get up and chase him around. Maybe this is what they do at school? It's certainly what he does with Daddy!
We've quit bottles altogether, as of a couple weeks ago. We no longer have to do a "nighttime" drink. He's still in cloth diapers on the weekends (pray Jesus for saving money on diapers.) He's not talking much at all yet, but he's babbling like crazy in long sentences. I swear, when he does start talking it's going to be in full sentences, not a word here and there. He loves his sleep and continues to be the best baby when it comes to sleeping.
little boy, big personality
His favorite thing to do is go outside. He wants to run around, to grab dandelions, play with the other kids on our street. He wants to be taken for a ride in the stroller, and he tells you by getting the stroller and trying to pull it out of the garage himself. He prefers not to walk on the grass. He waves excitedly at anybody passing by. He assumes everyone, especially kids, want to be his friend and will walk right up to them and ask for the ball they are playing with. He runs with abandon, propelling those tiny legs forward with no regard for the hard pavement below.
A special treat: homemade strawberry ice cream
Daddy's little helper in the workshop
Post-dinner is chase time. No matter when we are, when he's done, he expects someone to get up and chase him around. Maybe this is what they do at school? It's certainly what he does with Daddy!
A rare Mommy-baby photo
We've quit bottles altogether, as of a couple weeks ago. We no longer have to do a "nighttime" drink. He's still in cloth diapers on the weekends (pray Jesus for saving money on diapers.) He's not talking much at all yet, but he's babbling like crazy in long sentences. I swear, when he does start talking it's going to be in full sentences, not a word here and there. He loves his sleep and continues to be the best baby when it comes to sleeping.
Mondays are hard, yo...
As always, it seems like the current stage is the best stage, even if we're seeing defiance in our little guy's eyes. We can't wait to start on swim lessons, take Caleb to the beach and see what words he starts with first...
Reading in his underwear. As you do.
Self-care, the church and holding it together
I recently had a meeting with my pastors and a church committee in which I was asked about self-care. You have to understand that this was a meeting to hear about my call to ministry and it had completely come off the rails. Since then I've been doing a lot of prayer and introspection about why that meeting was so difficult and I've come up a few understandable reasons, but back to the question of self-care.
Self-care?? I have no idea what look I gave my pastor because I was mostly trying not to cry at that moment, but he oh so helpfully responded "You know, they'll want to hear if you spend 30 minutes on the bike in the evening or something." Thirty minutes on a bike?? In the evening?? I thought. Do you people not understand that I have a full time job, a child, a husband, meals to be made, a house to be kept somewhat clean and I'm about to take on seminary? I'm going to need to join a gym to check mark a box for ordination??? I attempted to quiet my brain. Just get through this meeting, Amy. Breathe, focus, you're almost done.
I'm not really sure what happened between then and when the committee (all of whom, except for my pastors, I'd never met or seen before) prayed over me, but I did finally get to gather up my shredded diginity and flee. (I headed home. It was my husband's birthday. I really, really tried not to make it all about my awful meeting and ruin it, but I totally failed. It was a rough day.) It was a few more days before I could muster the courage to email my pastor and ask for a lunch meeting to dissect the humiliation of this meeting. She told me to be kind to myself. With the exception of letting the housework pile up, where my kindness grows in abundance, that's not my strong suit.
But I was still thinking about self care. It's a question I'm going to have to answer in the future. The first things that come to mind is therapy and working out. It makes me want to roll my eyes. I've never had therapy, I didn't grow up in a family that utilizes it. It was something that people on tv, wealthy people, people with a lot of time on their hands, used. I now have lots of friends that utilize therapy as part of self-care and I respect that, but I haven't dipped into those waters yet. And working out? That goes back to the issue of 24 hours in a day and my lack of motivation. But I kept thinking about what self-care really means, beyond the surface, and here's what I see in my life as self-care. I think it's a pretty damn good list.
1: Sleep. I prioritize sleep and a consistent sleep schedule. We do this for Caleb and for ourselves. Our house is a sleeping house.
2: Eat. I eat good, wholesome food, most of which I make from scratch myself, which brings me to my next point:
3: Hobbies. I practice regularly at hobbies that I love. These include cooking, gardening, reading and writing. Yes, I make meals because otherwise my family wouldn't eat, but that's a task I take joy in, most of the time. Yesterday I made queso fresco for a corn salad. There's fresh cheese sitting in my fridge. It's delicious and I relished the quiet time I spent at the stove stirring warm milk and lemon juice into cheese curds.
4: Family. I have a healthy, happy marriage with my husband. We treasure one another and our time together. We practice relationship care by prioritizing time together and treating each other with respect and extra kindness. We keep the lines of communication open. I find joy in playing with Caleb, listening to him giggle, watching him explore. We keep our family ties strong and pray with our families and ask them to pray for us.
5: Body Image Balance. For the first time in probably 10 years, I don't have a gym membership and I don't feel guilty about it. I take long walks with my husband, get in my 7000-10,000 steps a day, I've lost the baby weight (I mean seriously, that's an accomplishment) and I feel good about my body.
6. Friends. I have a group of women friends that are active in the life of the church. They are a support group I can go to with questions about seminary and ministry. They pray for me and I for them. They babysit my son when our life gets chaotic.
The young woman in me wants to apologize for this list, or make concessions to the criticisms I already hear in my head: "You can't do this all and seminary. This will all change when you start school. Basically your family with starve September - May and your marriage will crumble. You will have no idea what's happening on all your favorite shows. You can't do it." To which I say: "I'll figure out. I always have. Leave me alone."
The "idea" of self-care can be a scary closet monster that might come out and bite you if you don't follow a prescribed routine. But the older I get, the more I can believe that there isn't one right answer for a problem. There certainly isn't here. This is my current version of self-care and it's working pretty damn well.
Self-care?? I have no idea what look I gave my pastor because I was mostly trying not to cry at that moment, but he oh so helpfully responded "You know, they'll want to hear if you spend 30 minutes on the bike in the evening or something." Thirty minutes on a bike?? In the evening?? I thought. Do you people not understand that I have a full time job, a child, a husband, meals to be made, a house to be kept somewhat clean and I'm about to take on seminary? I'm going to need to join a gym to check mark a box for ordination??? I attempted to quiet my brain. Just get through this meeting, Amy. Breathe, focus, you're almost done.
I'm not really sure what happened between then and when the committee (all of whom, except for my pastors, I'd never met or seen before) prayed over me, but I did finally get to gather up my shredded diginity and flee. (I headed home. It was my husband's birthday. I really, really tried not to make it all about my awful meeting and ruin it, but I totally failed. It was a rough day.) It was a few more days before I could muster the courage to email my pastor and ask for a lunch meeting to dissect the humiliation of this meeting. She told me to be kind to myself. With the exception of letting the housework pile up, where my kindness grows in abundance, that's not my strong suit.
But I was still thinking about self care. It's a question I'm going to have to answer in the future. The first things that come to mind is therapy and working out. It makes me want to roll my eyes. I've never had therapy, I didn't grow up in a family that utilizes it. It was something that people on tv, wealthy people, people with a lot of time on their hands, used. I now have lots of friends that utilize therapy as part of self-care and I respect that, but I haven't dipped into those waters yet. And working out? That goes back to the issue of 24 hours in a day and my lack of motivation. But I kept thinking about what self-care really means, beyond the surface, and here's what I see in my life as self-care. I think it's a pretty damn good list.
1: Sleep. I prioritize sleep and a consistent sleep schedule. We do this for Caleb and for ourselves. Our house is a sleeping house.
2: Eat. I eat good, wholesome food, most of which I make from scratch myself, which brings me to my next point:
3: Hobbies. I practice regularly at hobbies that I love. These include cooking, gardening, reading and writing. Yes, I make meals because otherwise my family wouldn't eat, but that's a task I take joy in, most of the time. Yesterday I made queso fresco for a corn salad. There's fresh cheese sitting in my fridge. It's delicious and I relished the quiet time I spent at the stove stirring warm milk and lemon juice into cheese curds.
4: Family. I have a healthy, happy marriage with my husband. We treasure one another and our time together. We practice relationship care by prioritizing time together and treating each other with respect and extra kindness. We keep the lines of communication open. I find joy in playing with Caleb, listening to him giggle, watching him explore. We keep our family ties strong and pray with our families and ask them to pray for us.
5: Body Image Balance. For the first time in probably 10 years, I don't have a gym membership and I don't feel guilty about it. I take long walks with my husband, get in my 7000-10,000 steps a day, I've lost the baby weight (I mean seriously, that's an accomplishment) and I feel good about my body.
6. Friends. I have a group of women friends that are active in the life of the church. They are a support group I can go to with questions about seminary and ministry. They pray for me and I for them. They babysit my son when our life gets chaotic.
The young woman in me wants to apologize for this list, or make concessions to the criticisms I already hear in my head: "You can't do this all and seminary. This will all change when you start school. Basically your family with starve September - May and your marriage will crumble. You will have no idea what's happening on all your favorite shows. You can't do it." To which I say: "I'll figure out. I always have. Leave me alone."
The "idea" of self-care can be a scary closet monster that might come out and bite you if you don't follow a prescribed routine. But the older I get, the more I can believe that there isn't one right answer for a problem. There certainly isn't here. This is my current version of self-care and it's working pretty damn well.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Family Togetherness Weekend
It's 6:30 am on Sunday morning. I'm at my desk in our makeshift office, looking at out at the sunrise over our front yard. It's been such a wonderful weekend so far, and I'm reflecting on why that is.
Our Saturday could have looked very different. I woke up stressed about going to the grocery store. This is highly unusual for me: I go to the grocery store every weekend, but I was worried about potential road closures on the highway, about the length of the grocery list and how much I'd have to spend, and spending so much time away from Brian and Caleb. So I did what any normal mom would do: I begged Brian to come with me. "Can we please make it a family trip??" So we did, and while I don't think it'll be an every weekend routine, it was so nice, the three of us making the grocery store rounds. Caleb loves to observe people and take in the world around him, so this is right up his alley.
We had a fun day of playing and around 5pm we left for a friend's birthday party. Earlier in the week we thought I might go by myself, but I asked Brian if he would consider having all of us go together. Starting at 6, with a 7pm bedtime for Caleb, was a dicey but we decided to risk it anyway. Again, totally the right decision. Caleb was a little love, warming up to everyone quickly and eating more sugar in the form of Rice Krispy treats than I think he's ever had at one at time. He was quite the little entertainer. We ended up not getting home until 7:45, and after a quick bath that resulted in Caleb laying down in my nap still dripping wet, we bundled him swiftly off to bed.
At the end of the day I told Brian I was so glad this day didn't go the other way: Where I did the grocery run by myself, gone for two hours of the morning. Where I left at dinnertime, missing bedtime (again), off to the party by myself. The three of us had such a sweet time together and I'm just about ready for our Sunday to unfold the same way!
Our Saturday could have looked very different. I woke up stressed about going to the grocery store. This is highly unusual for me: I go to the grocery store every weekend, but I was worried about potential road closures on the highway, about the length of the grocery list and how much I'd have to spend, and spending so much time away from Brian and Caleb. So I did what any normal mom would do: I begged Brian to come with me. "Can we please make it a family trip??" So we did, and while I don't think it'll be an every weekend routine, it was so nice, the three of us making the grocery store rounds. Caleb loves to observe people and take in the world around him, so this is right up his alley.
We had a fun day of playing and around 5pm we left for a friend's birthday party. Earlier in the week we thought I might go by myself, but I asked Brian if he would consider having all of us go together. Starting at 6, with a 7pm bedtime for Caleb, was a dicey but we decided to risk it anyway. Again, totally the right decision. Caleb was a little love, warming up to everyone quickly and eating more sugar in the form of Rice Krispy treats than I think he's ever had at one at time. He was quite the little entertainer. We ended up not getting home until 7:45, and after a quick bath that resulted in Caleb laying down in my nap still dripping wet, we bundled him swiftly off to bed.
At the end of the day I told Brian I was so glad this day didn't go the other way: Where I did the grocery run by myself, gone for two hours of the morning. Where I left at dinnertime, missing bedtime (again), off to the party by myself. The three of us had such a sweet time together and I'm just about ready for our Sunday to unfold the same way!
We managed to color coordinate on Friday morning.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Late April Garden
A lot of work happened in garden last week and this past weekend. We are officially past the frost-free date, even if we're having a cool week with highs in the 60's and lows in the 40's. Next week we should be back up in the 70's and my garden will really get to growing!
This weekend I planted okra, bush beans and pole beans, all seed, not plants. I was excited a few weeks ago and planted bush beans and they never germinated, so we'll see if this round is better. I planted a summer squash, lettuce, spinach and cucumbers, and some of those have started to germinate less than a week later. The lettuce and spinach are between the cucumber plants, so by the time they need a lot of space, the greens should be done growing.
I also put in a Major Wheeler Coral Honeysuckle at the far end of my vegetable garden, to climb up the chicken wire fence and help attract bees and other beneficial creatures. This is a non-invasive honeysuckle perfectly suited for our climate. The highly invasive yellow and white Japanese honeysuckle has come into bloom in our area and you can see it all over, including parts of our yard. I'll make sure it doesn't invade my vegetable garden.
I've got pea aphids on my snap peas, so I'll be figuring out how to get
rid of those. I might just use water and a q-tip to brush them off,
since it isn't a huge invasion. The peas are about 6 inches high, and I'll be training them to climb up their teepees.
I also planted the beginnings of an herb garden up on our deck. I now have 4 planters that sit up on the fence, so I have basil, lemon verbena, thyme, chives and rosemary planted. Parsley and cilantro are planted in the big garden. My mom brought me a rhubarb from their house in Wisconsin, so that's in the ground. Fingers crossed it survives! I also caught sight of what might be a wild raspberry cane near the rhubarb, so I'll be keeping a close watch.
When I was cleaning out the vegetable garden a few weeks ago, I kept tossing out the old leaves and straw and whatnot. That pile of nearly composted leaves sat in the grass for far too long. Yesterday I grabbed a rake to finally fix the eyesore, only to find I had completely killed the grass in a 3 foot wide circle. So now I'm trying to decide what to do with it, on the cheap. I saw the other day that I've got a peony languishing in the shade of our side yard, so I think I might move it there, where it will get significantly more sun. I've also got lavender and marigold seeds, and I'm wondering if it might be fun to try sunflowers. The peony will bloom sooner than those plants. I'm planning on taking over the grass from most of that part of the lawn anyway, so starting now isn't really a problem. A plant, some seeds and a little mulch might just turn that eyesore into the beginning of a pretty spot.
Oh! And- there's a lot going on right now- my tomato seedlings are still indoors, still growing. And a nice red bell pepper seedling. Only a couple more weeks before I need to make some serious space for them!
This weekend I planted okra, bush beans and pole beans, all seed, not plants. I was excited a few weeks ago and planted bush beans and they never germinated, so we'll see if this round is better. I planted a summer squash, lettuce, spinach and cucumbers, and some of those have started to germinate less than a week later. The lettuce and spinach are between the cucumber plants, so by the time they need a lot of space, the greens should be done growing.
I also put in a Major Wheeler Coral Honeysuckle at the far end of my vegetable garden, to climb up the chicken wire fence and help attract bees and other beneficial creatures. This is a non-invasive honeysuckle perfectly suited for our climate. The highly invasive yellow and white Japanese honeysuckle has come into bloom in our area and you can see it all over, including parts of our yard. I'll make sure it doesn't invade my vegetable garden.
I did, in fact, buy a Monrovio honeysuckle, so I don't feel bad stealing their photo.
I also planted the beginnings of an herb garden up on our deck. I now have 4 planters that sit up on the fence, so I have basil, lemon verbena, thyme, chives and rosemary planted. Parsley and cilantro are planted in the big garden. My mom brought me a rhubarb from their house in Wisconsin, so that's in the ground. Fingers crossed it survives! I also caught sight of what might be a wild raspberry cane near the rhubarb, so I'll be keeping a close watch.
Rhubarb, adjusting to the South
Oh! And- there's a lot going on right now- my tomato seedlings are still indoors, still growing. And a nice red bell pepper seedling. Only a couple more weeks before I need to make some serious space for them!
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Spring in Tennessee
I keep having this thing where I don't know what month it is. It's May or June? Because it's so warm out, and the trees have leafed out and my husband mowed the lawn last weekend. No? It's April. Right. This is the South. The dogwoods and azaleas are blooming. Right now. Spring by tax day!!
I'm so grateful. Honestly, that's what I feel when I step outside, and it's warm and sunny and things are blooming. Here's my garden, mid-April:
I'm done tilling. All 8 beds are ready for planting. The snow and sugar snap peas are coming up. Seedlings of broccoli, red cabbage, parsley, onions and some peppers are in. I laid the straw down on Sunday afternoon in anticipation of all the rain this week: saved me from the weeds and mud completely taking over. There will still be weeds, mind you, but doesn't it look presentable?
I freely admit that there are things I still miss about the Midwest. Rhubarb, for one. We had a booming plant in my parents' backyard. My mom is going to bring me a plant next week, but it'll be fingers crossed on if it survives here. It's not cut out for Southern climes. Lilacs, for another. I don't see them down here and it makes me sad. And ramps! I had a wonderful secret ramp patch in my parents' neighborhood. I've been keeping my eyes open on our walks by the woods and nothing. Nada. No ramps.
I'm sure the pain of missing these things will be lessened as I enjoy our beautiful Tennessee spring. And if I get tomatoes before July...that'll be the cherry (tomato) on top!
I'm so grateful. Honestly, that's what I feel when I step outside, and it's warm and sunny and things are blooming. Here's my garden, mid-April:
Done tilling
With straw down for the pathways. I joked that with the chicken wire and the clean, bright straw, it looks like a set of "Oklahoma!"
I'm done tilling. All 8 beds are ready for planting. The snow and sugar snap peas are coming up. Seedlings of broccoli, red cabbage, parsley, onions and some peppers are in. I laid the straw down on Sunday afternoon in anticipation of all the rain this week: saved me from the weeds and mud completely taking over. There will still be weeds, mind you, but doesn't it look presentable?
I freely admit that there are things I still miss about the Midwest. Rhubarb, for one. We had a booming plant in my parents' backyard. My mom is going to bring me a plant next week, but it'll be fingers crossed on if it survives here. It's not cut out for Southern climes. Lilacs, for another. I don't see them down here and it makes me sad. And ramps! I had a wonderful secret ramp patch in my parents' neighborhood. I've been keeping my eyes open on our walks by the woods and nothing. Nada. No ramps.
I'm sure the pain of missing these things will be lessened as I enjoy our beautiful Tennessee spring. And if I get tomatoes before July...that'll be the cherry (tomato) on top!
Tomato seedlings, under the grow light. There are 26. I'm probably going to put in 18 (2 squares worth).
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Our Most Important Anniversary
Every year in early April, I have to reset the password on my nearly defunct Yahoo address in order to get in and search for a certain email. It's from the previous associate pastor at our church in Wisconsin. He emailed a few of the young adults who were attending WFBUMC at the time. With four different services, we were all missing each other and he wanted to start a fellowship group for us. He invited us to dinner at a local restaurant and I decided I would go. I hadn't been to church in a few weeks, and I remember my Mom chiding me, that I wasn't really committing to that church, why should I show up to dinner??
Why, indeed?
I met my husband on April 8th, 2011. I have no idea what my life might have looked like if I hadn't gone to that dinner. Perhaps I would have pursued passions like cooking and agriculture more intensely, but I would have missed out to the amazing journey of getting married, meeting our son and discerning my call to ministry. I"m not sure God would have called me to ministry without Brian by my side. He and I are so much better than we are apart.
A good friend came over for wine and cheese straws a few weeks ago, and she and I chatted upstairs while Brian worked down in the garage. A little while later, he bounded up the stairs, holding his hand, heading for the kitchen sink. He had a small accident in the shop, nothing more serious than a band-aid wouldn't fix, but there was a lot of blood and Brian felt a bit woozy. He decided to sit with us awhile, and I noticed his face was rather white, so I fixed him a plate of crackers and a tall glass of water, refilling it when I saw he was done. When he was feeling better, he went back down to clean up. Once had left, my friend turned to me and said "You're so glad for each other. You're so good to each other."
I don't like to brag, but it was a matter of fact statement. We are good to each other. We both spent enough time in relationships that were not good. We had experience being unkind relationship partners. We knew what emotional distance felt like. We knew what that low laying unhappiness felt like, how it creeps up on you and settles into your life. We knew we weren't going to do that again. So we are good to each other. On purpose. It takes effort beyond being well matched.
Four years later, I'm so grateful for Brian, for our family, for our extended families, for our relationship which we consistently put first.
Why, indeed?
I met my husband on April 8th, 2011. I have no idea what my life might have looked like if I hadn't gone to that dinner. Perhaps I would have pursued passions like cooking and agriculture more intensely, but I would have missed out to the amazing journey of getting married, meeting our son and discerning my call to ministry. I"m not sure God would have called me to ministry without Brian by my side. He and I are so much better than we are apart.
A good friend came over for wine and cheese straws a few weeks ago, and she and I chatted upstairs while Brian worked down in the garage. A little while later, he bounded up the stairs, holding his hand, heading for the kitchen sink. He had a small accident in the shop, nothing more serious than a band-aid wouldn't fix, but there was a lot of blood and Brian felt a bit woozy. He decided to sit with us awhile, and I noticed his face was rather white, so I fixed him a plate of crackers and a tall glass of water, refilling it when I saw he was done. When he was feeling better, he went back down to clean up. Once had left, my friend turned to me and said "You're so glad for each other. You're so good to each other."
I don't like to brag, but it was a matter of fact statement. We are good to each other. We both spent enough time in relationships that were not good. We had experience being unkind relationship partners. We knew what emotional distance felt like. We knew what that low laying unhappiness felt like, how it creeps up on you and settles into your life. We knew we weren't going to do that again. So we are good to each other. On purpose. It takes effort beyond being well matched.
Four years later, I'm so grateful for Brian, for our family, for our extended families, for our relationship which we consistently put first.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
The darkest week
This is the darkest week of the Christian year. Right? I mean, I didn't grow up observing Lent or Good Friday. But in my years with the Methodist church, I've learned that this Holy Week, is also the darkest week. Tonight many churches will come together to celebrate Maundy Thursday, the Last Supper. On Friday we'll observe "Good Friday," which is not very good at all, it's when our Lord and Savior chose to serve and save his people from the cross.We journey with Christ to the cross. Like Him, we know what's coming and that there's no way to get out of it.
And on Holy Saturday? A day of silence, a vigil? This year on Holy Saturday our extended family will bury a six year boy, a cousin of Caleb's, a beloved son, grandson, nephew, friend and leave us entombed behind a rock of a grief. This death has hit me the hardest of the three I've experienced this winter. It is the loss of a child, so early in his life. I truly believe in the celebration of a life well and fully lived, but 6? Those precious years seem too few and I'm heartbroken.
I don't know about Easter this year. Less than 24 hours after Holy Saturday? It's too soon. There is no resurrection, no light this year. I imagine the pastor crying out "He is Risen!" and a silent congregation staring back at him, half of them related to the small constituent they are suddenly missing. Who among us will have the strength to roll the stone away?
The Easter baskets, the egg hunts, the branded candy seem smaller and pettier than in years past (and I have opinions on commercialized Easter). Tonight we'll make our midnight trip over the mountains again, but instead of looking forward to the Risen Christ on Sunday, we are grieving with the rest of our family. I'm grateful Caleb is too little to comprehend what's happening.
I can't bring myself yet to God and ask Him to lighten my emotional burden. There's something that feels honest about sitting in the grief with the community who loves Luke. I do believe, as much of our family does, that Luke is sitting in the lap of his Maker, full of joy, happiness and light. That he is with family who have gone on before, who were ready for him with open arms. It is a small comfort. In the meantime, we here in this life will sit with our silence, with our prayers, with our tears, and our mourning.
And yet - there's an answer to the question "Who has the strength to roll the stone away?" It's God of course, Love. And when we're ready, ready to ask God for light, rejoicing, hope and faith, may we remember that Easter is not just one day, but everyday. May we remember that we are the men and women whom God has made, and each of us, including the ones sitting in the arms of Love, are crowned with light that cannot fade.
Let us sing of Easter gladness
That rejoices every day,
Sing of hope and faith uplifted;
Love has rolled the stone away.
Lo, the promise and fulfillment,
Lo, the man whom God hath made,
Seen in glory of an Easter
Crowned with light that cannot fade.
-The Christian Science Hymnal, words by Francis Thomas Hill
And on Holy Saturday? A day of silence, a vigil? This year on Holy Saturday our extended family will bury a six year boy, a cousin of Caleb's, a beloved son, grandson, nephew, friend and leave us entombed behind a rock of a grief. This death has hit me the hardest of the three I've experienced this winter. It is the loss of a child, so early in his life. I truly believe in the celebration of a life well and fully lived, but 6? Those precious years seem too few and I'm heartbroken.
I don't know about Easter this year. Less than 24 hours after Holy Saturday? It's too soon. There is no resurrection, no light this year. I imagine the pastor crying out "He is Risen!" and a silent congregation staring back at him, half of them related to the small constituent they are suddenly missing. Who among us will have the strength to roll the stone away?
The Easter baskets, the egg hunts, the branded candy seem smaller and pettier than in years past (and I have opinions on commercialized Easter). Tonight we'll make our midnight trip over the mountains again, but instead of looking forward to the Risen Christ on Sunday, we are grieving with the rest of our family. I'm grateful Caleb is too little to comprehend what's happening.
I can't bring myself yet to God and ask Him to lighten my emotional burden. There's something that feels honest about sitting in the grief with the community who loves Luke. I do believe, as much of our family does, that Luke is sitting in the lap of his Maker, full of joy, happiness and light. That he is with family who have gone on before, who were ready for him with open arms. It is a small comfort. In the meantime, we here in this life will sit with our silence, with our prayers, with our tears, and our mourning.
And yet - there's an answer to the question "Who has the strength to roll the stone away?" It's God of course, Love. And when we're ready, ready to ask God for light, rejoicing, hope and faith, may we remember that Easter is not just one day, but everyday. May we remember that we are the men and women whom God has made, and each of us, including the ones sitting in the arms of Love, are crowned with light that cannot fade.
Let us sing of Easter gladness
That rejoices every day,
Sing of hope and faith uplifted;
Love has rolled the stone away.
Lo, the promise and fulfillment,
Lo, the man whom God hath made,
Seen in glory of an Easter
Crowned with light that cannot fade.
-The Christian Science Hymnal, words by Francis Thomas Hill
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
The Work of a Weekend*
Garden on Friday:
Garden on Sunday evening:
It might not look like much to you, but it's serious progress for me. I don't know what that garden bed was last used, but the soil was pretty good, not too compacted. A little clay-y, but brimming with worms. This is the lower bed, at the bottom of our drive. I'm a little worried about the amount of sun it'll get, so I'm putting more cool weather crops down here. It will have 8 3x3 squares. Each square was hand tilled: I turned the soil over with a pitchfork, then sat with my small hand tiller to pull out old roots and weeds until it was completely loose. Then each patch received some top soil and some compost. I'm ready to plant! Peas and beans and some of my seedlings should go in this week, although I'm watching the end of the week forecast- it's looking we might get below freezing.
*Clarification: The work of two naptimes. If we didn't have a toddler to care for, play with and feed, this would be done.
*Clarification: The work of two naptimes. If we didn't have a toddler to care for, play with and feed, this would be done.
Friday, March 20, 2015
The Faithful, Unorganized Gardener
I read somewhere that the best time to be a gardener is January, leafing through seed catalogs and gardening books, imagining the large garden that will magically sprout up this summer.
This is currently my "garden:"
It's a big pile of wet clay-y dirt (yes dirt, it's going to need some more love before it becomes soil). The idea that it could transform and grow something we might eat or otherwise enjoy is magic, or faith, or some of both. Mostly hard work that has yet to happen. A lot of weeding is going to happen this weekend.
I though I'd have cool weather crops in by now and I'm feeling shamed by the gardeners I follow who have peas and radishes coming up already. But we had that late snow and this is my first year in this garden, so I probably need to cool it and give myself a break.
I also thought I'd have some beautifully organized seedlings growing. This is what's currently happening in my basement:
I don't know what most of those seeds are, because I wrote down which row had what but then promptly moved them a few weeks later and forgot. Thankfully I've already gotten toothpick flags made up for my tomatoes, which have not been planted yet, yes I'm behind there as well.
I'm so bad at keeping up with my gardening plans, but as they say, anything worth doing is worth doing badly. The effort of growing things is never in vain. This is my second or third- fourth? year having a little garden of my own. Back in 2010 when I moved home to my parent's house in Wisconsin, my Dad and I were left our own devices at the garden center and came home with a Concord Grape plant. "It won't even produce fruit for a couple years!" my Mom exclaimed. "Then we better get it in now," we replied, grinning. The fruit of that grape plant has hung heavy on the vine for the past couple summers, and it shades an old bench in the back of my Mom's garden. (I hope they're bringing that bench to Tennessee, now that I think about it...) That's why I'll plant berry canes this year. That's why I'll dig in my clay-y plot, and build another raised bed, and scheme planting a couple fruit trees and throw kitchen scraps in the compost that might be ready in the fall. I'm not the first person to compare gardening to faith, but there's a reason it's a common comparison: it's a lesson in patience. A lesson in persistence even when you don't see immediate results. Lessons in seasons of life. Lessons in the small daily work of weeding and watering your garden and your heart. And lessons in small, unexpected spots of beauty.
This is currently my "garden:"
It's a big pile of wet clay-y dirt (yes dirt, it's going to need some more love before it becomes soil). The idea that it could transform and grow something we might eat or otherwise enjoy is magic, or faith, or some of both. Mostly hard work that has yet to happen. A lot of weeding is going to happen this weekend.
I though I'd have cool weather crops in by now and I'm feeling shamed by the gardeners I follow who have peas and radishes coming up already. But we had that late snow and this is my first year in this garden, so I probably need to cool it and give myself a break.
I also thought I'd have some beautifully organized seedlings growing. This is what's currently happening in my basement:
I don't know what most of those seeds are, because I wrote down which row had what but then promptly moved them a few weeks later and forgot. Thankfully I've already gotten toothpick flags made up for my tomatoes, which have not been planted yet, yes I'm behind there as well.
I'm so bad at keeping up with my gardening plans, but as they say, anything worth doing is worth doing badly. The effort of growing things is never in vain. This is my second or third- fourth? year having a little garden of my own. Back in 2010 when I moved home to my parent's house in Wisconsin, my Dad and I were left our own devices at the garden center and came home with a Concord Grape plant. "It won't even produce fruit for a couple years!" my Mom exclaimed. "Then we better get it in now," we replied, grinning. The fruit of that grape plant has hung heavy on the vine for the past couple summers, and it shades an old bench in the back of my Mom's garden. (I hope they're bringing that bench to Tennessee, now that I think about it...) That's why I'll plant berry canes this year. That's why I'll dig in my clay-y plot, and build another raised bed, and scheme planting a couple fruit trees and throw kitchen scraps in the compost that might be ready in the fall. I'm not the first person to compare gardening to faith, but there's a reason it's a common comparison: it's a lesson in patience. A lesson in persistence even when you don't see immediate results. Lessons in seasons of life. Lessons in the small daily work of weeding and watering your garden and your heart. And lessons in small, unexpected spots of beauty.
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Spring Weekend
Spring has officially arrived in Nashville. I just about called it last weekend, when we had 2 snowdays followed by 2 days of nice weather, but I'm calling it now. Our week long rain storm finally tapered off on Saturday evening, just as we were heading into the Symphony and Sunday was a 70 degree glorious day. Here's a rundown on our spring weekend:
1. Saturday Date Night. Saturday night we scored free tickets to the Nashville Symphony from a friend and planned a date night out. After getting the tickets, I complained and complained about going downtown on a Saturday night. The SEC tournament was happening that evening, streets would be closed, we couldn't get a reservation anywhere, can't we just stay at home and nearly cancelled. Thankfully it turned out that dear friends from Milwaukee were passing through Nashville and managed to get dinner and see the performance with us! I'm so glad we made ourselves leave the house. Note what wasn't the list of complaints: leaving Caleb with a sitter. My good friend babysat, and she's got a recommendation list for being an awesome babysitter a mile long: a former professional children's pastor, 5 or 6 godkids, even familiar with cloth diapers! Plus she loves Caleb and they had a great time- no tears.
2. Sunday Outside Work. Sunday was the kind of day that makes you glad you're alive. 70 degrees and sunny, I'd say we made the most of it. Church followed by lunch out with friends followed by a serious nap for Caleb. I had to go in to wake him after nearly 3 hours down! That kid sure loves his sleep. We took a long walk and let Caleb play outside until dinner. Brian and I worked outside for most of his nap. Brian's done with the baby gate, so I started painting and he worked on building his work bench. I raked the last of the leaves off my raised bed, and there is a lot of work left to be done. Weeds galore and other plants coming up that will need to be moved. Tulips, hyacinths, day lilies and something else is sprouting green leaves. That means I need to find someplace to put those plants, as well as plant my veggies! I think I'm seriously behind on planting peas and beans, but we had snow 2 weeks ago and rain all last week! Everybody else is held up in their planting, right?
3. Grilling Season Kickoff. We started grilling season with pork chops and asparagus on the grill. I made an extra lemony-garlicy homemade mayonnaise to drag the asparagus through, and I am seriously addicted. It was a cut above my first version of homemade mayonnaise, which I made with olive oil. This one I made with a farm fresh egg yolk, extra lemon juice, a huge garlic clove and canola oil. I also managed to make a version of quinoa that I enjoyed, which meant cooking it in chicken stock instead of water. Caleb was lurching his body toward the spoonfuls of quinoa and peas, so I considered it a triumphant dinner.
4. Cocktails on the Deck. Finally, we capped the day off with cocktails. I begged off my regular Sunday night girls get together in favor of sitting on the deck with my husband, cocktail in hand, watching the last of the light disappear from the woods. The stars came out and I tried to see if there was a bat in one of our trees.
5. Future Weekends. Next weekend will be focused on getting the guestroom ready for my Mom, and other future visitors, and the weekend after will be another garden focused weekend. It's got 2 weeks to dry out, then I'm going in!
1. Saturday Date Night. Saturday night we scored free tickets to the Nashville Symphony from a friend and planned a date night out. After getting the tickets, I complained and complained about going downtown on a Saturday night. The SEC tournament was happening that evening, streets would be closed, we couldn't get a reservation anywhere, can't we just stay at home and nearly cancelled. Thankfully it turned out that dear friends from Milwaukee were passing through Nashville and managed to get dinner and see the performance with us! I'm so glad we made ourselves leave the house. Note what wasn't the list of complaints: leaving Caleb with a sitter. My good friend babysat, and she's got a recommendation list for being an awesome babysitter a mile long: a former professional children's pastor, 5 or 6 godkids, even familiar with cloth diapers! Plus she loves Caleb and they had a great time- no tears.
Our seats at the NSO. Their Symphony Hall is very different from Milwaukee!
2. Sunday Outside Work. Sunday was the kind of day that makes you glad you're alive. 70 degrees and sunny, I'd say we made the most of it. Church followed by lunch out with friends followed by a serious nap for Caleb. I had to go in to wake him after nearly 3 hours down! That kid sure loves his sleep. We took a long walk and let Caleb play outside until dinner. Brian and I worked outside for most of his nap. Brian's done with the baby gate, so I started painting and he worked on building his work bench. I raked the last of the leaves off my raised bed, and there is a lot of work left to be done. Weeds galore and other plants coming up that will need to be moved. Tulips, hyacinths, day lilies and something else is sprouting green leaves. That means I need to find someplace to put those plants, as well as plant my veggies! I think I'm seriously behind on planting peas and beans, but we had snow 2 weeks ago and rain all last week! Everybody else is held up in their planting, right?
Not in my garden, but I do have a couple surprise bulbs coming up.
Walks outside sometimes end with mud.
Warm weather means a lot of running around in the diaper. Caleb thinks it's the best ever.
Ready to play!
Kisses from Daddy.
With DST, the sun is rising as we pull out of the drive in the morning.
It's breathtaking most days.
Friday, March 13, 2015
From the Lectionary this morning
A quick reflection on the lectionary text this morning, Deuteronomy 6:4-12
4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
10 When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
In this text we are am tempted to focus on the first half- the all important first commandment, yes? However, this morning I am struck by the overwhelming grace found in the second half. God provides us with land, with homes, with water and food and we can take and eat and be satisfied. It's easy, especially in a first world country, to say "Yeah, I get this! We just moved into this awesome house, and we are going to be stewards of our land and we have unlimited water for which we pay a nominal fee!" But it's not always like that, right? The West is going through a drought. The Jews and the Palestines, not to mention ISIS and the other splinter groups, are fighting for that exact land referenced in these Old Testament passages, physical land they believe God has awarded to them. Does it mean we do not need to work hard for what we have? Our house did not just land in our laps. Brian and I have been stewards of our funds, which in turn allowed us to buy our house.
When I read that text, I see it describing not physical land and vineyards and food, but God's continuous grace. What else is continually available to us, without price and without end? We have so much good in our lives, and when I see that good, when I see my husband, our son, our family, I see God's grace manifest in the world. I am filled again and again and again. I am careful that I do not forget the Lord, lest I think that I can create this all on my own. That I can create anything, really.
In the church that I grew up in, we often spoke of God as being right here with us, closer than our own skin. If you listen closely, prayers were affirmations of God's grace and presence, not petitions for future help. I see evidence of those prayers in this passage; God has always and is always providing for us.
4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
10 When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
In this text we are am tempted to focus on the first half- the all important first commandment, yes? However, this morning I am struck by the overwhelming grace found in the second half. God provides us with land, with homes, with water and food and we can take and eat and be satisfied. It's easy, especially in a first world country, to say "Yeah, I get this! We just moved into this awesome house, and we are going to be stewards of our land and we have unlimited water for which we pay a nominal fee!" But it's not always like that, right? The West is going through a drought. The Jews and the Palestines, not to mention ISIS and the other splinter groups, are fighting for that exact land referenced in these Old Testament passages, physical land they believe God has awarded to them. Does it mean we do not need to work hard for what we have? Our house did not just land in our laps. Brian and I have been stewards of our funds, which in turn allowed us to buy our house.
When I read that text, I see it describing not physical land and vineyards and food, but God's continuous grace. What else is continually available to us, without price and without end? We have so much good in our lives, and when I see that good, when I see my husband, our son, our family, I see God's grace manifest in the world. I am filled again and again and again. I am careful that I do not forget the Lord, lest I think that I can create this all on my own. That I can create anything, really.
In the church that I grew up in, we often spoke of God as being right here with us, closer than our own skin. If you listen closely, prayers were affirmations of God's grace and presence, not petitions for future help. I see evidence of those prayers in this passage; God has always and is always providing for us.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Snow day, second verse same as the first
We are in the second round of snow days this winter here in Nashville. According to natives, this is an unusual winter- my neighbor commented that this is the most snow his nine year old has ever seen. We have 4 inches- not much for this Midwesterner! Nashville + frozen precipitation = total panic. We had an ice storm in mid-February and the public schools were out for the next two weeks. Two ENTIRE weeks. That was the second half of February! Thankfully Caleb's school was only out for 1 week (private school means no bussing) and my parents were here to stay with him once Brian and I had to go back to work.
This week we are on snow day number 2. All of us were off yesterday, but Caleb's school is still closed today so I'm taking time to be with him since my parents are back in Wisconsin. Caleb going to a school rather than a traditional day care has its pros and cons. We love the feeling of the school and the community it creates- football games, a campus for the babies to take buggy rides, etc. But when weather hits, we find that they close for longer, like a school. Other daycares might have a late start, but Caleb's school is flat out closed.
So today I'm a stay at home mom. I'm pretty much always happy to be working and am looking forward to a career in ministry, but today I'm remembering how much I liked maternity leave. Maybe it's not having to go out in the winter? There was snow on the ground for 100% of the time I was on maternity leave. But I'm remembering once Caleb was past 6 weeks or so, there was a schedule we followed, and today I'm feeling the same way. There are snacks breaks, with milk for him and tea for me. Today there will be an outing to the grocery store, saving me a weekend trip. He's currently taking his first nap, and will take another later, an opportunity for me to get a jump on dinner. I have this image in my head, if I was a stay at home mom- lazy mornings with a real breakfast, a schedule of crafts and snacks, outings to the library, walks, etc. We are also saving money because at home Caleb wears his cloth diapers. This week I paid $8.99 for 18 diapers (Pampers) so at that rate, a cloth diaper saves 50 cents each. That's $3-5 per day! We use Pampers overnight, Target brand at school and cloth on the weekends/snow days.
Sometimes staying at home sounds perfectly idyllic. The reality is, 90% of the time I like going to work, knowing that Caleb is giggling with his friends, doing crafts at school and being cuddled by his teachers. It's not financially feasible for our family, but today that stay at home mom dream is awfully tempting...
This week we are on snow day number 2. All of us were off yesterday, but Caleb's school is still closed today so I'm taking time to be with him since my parents are back in Wisconsin. Caleb going to a school rather than a traditional day care has its pros and cons. We love the feeling of the school and the community it creates- football games, a campus for the babies to take buggy rides, etc. But when weather hits, we find that they close for longer, like a school. Other daycares might have a late start, but Caleb's school is flat out closed.
So today I'm a stay at home mom. I'm pretty much always happy to be working and am looking forward to a career in ministry, but today I'm remembering how much I liked maternity leave. Maybe it's not having to go out in the winter? There was snow on the ground for 100% of the time I was on maternity leave. But I'm remembering once Caleb was past 6 weeks or so, there was a schedule we followed, and today I'm feeling the same way. There are snacks breaks, with milk for him and tea for me. Today there will be an outing to the grocery store, saving me a weekend trip. He's currently taking his first nap, and will take another later, an opportunity for me to get a jump on dinner. I have this image in my head, if I was a stay at home mom- lazy mornings with a real breakfast, a schedule of crafts and snacks, outings to the library, walks, etc. We are also saving money because at home Caleb wears his cloth diapers. This week I paid $8.99 for 18 diapers (Pampers) so at that rate, a cloth diaper saves 50 cents each. That's $3-5 per day! We use Pampers overnight, Target brand at school and cloth on the weekends/snow days.
Sometimes staying at home sounds perfectly idyllic. The reality is, 90% of the time I like going to work, knowing that Caleb is giggling with his friends, doing crafts at school and being cuddled by his teachers. It's not financially feasible for our family, but today that stay at home mom dream is awfully tempting...
Pulling out the usually hidden toys from the closet.
Real snow, not just ice!
Snow days mean homemade everything. Link to recipe below.
This is from the ice storm back in February.
Snow day fort! This is also from February, I just happen to really like that outfit on Caleb.
First snow outing! As you can see, we're especially unprepared. Those are socks on his hands.
In this amazing stay at home fantasy I also make homemade everything for meals. Yesterday that meant bbq crockpot chicken with homemade buns and cole slaw with homemade mayo. The buns are so easy and ten times better than storebought ones. Very little hands on time and you most likely have everything in your pantry. Same goes for the mayo- it's a Serious Eats recipe that uses a stick blender. It does not involve slowly drizzling oil as you attempt to whisk, which takes three or four hands. I would encourage anyone to try it- I'm not sure I'll buy mayonnaise again!
I'm grateful for these little extra days that means time with our sweet boy who's growing up so fast.
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