Not Ashamed

Sunday afternoons have their own rhythm in our house. Hanging out in the nursery at church always tires Caleb – so much stimulation – and he often naps immediately after lunch. This usually means he’s up by 3pm, which means we’ve got him for 3 to 4 hours before bedtime. We love playing with Caleb, but on the weekends he’s still a 2 hour awake time baby. He stays awake longer at school, but without all the school stimulation he sleeps more on the weekends. So Sunday afternoons after naptime can become a long hard stretch where he’s tiring by dinnertime. I’m usually trying to make dinner, which leaves Brian to entertain our tired baby boy. Yesterday I pushed to get dinner into the oven for a long roast just as he was getting up from his nap. It’s my new goal- make something in the slow cooker or a long slow roast so I can focus on playing and helping with Caleb. We skyped with Nana and Papaw Whale for an hour, and it was still only 4:45 when we started to feel a little helpless. Caleb was starting to get fussy and we had given him a snack and his sippy cup, read books and pulled out new toys. It was too early to do dinner. I finally said to Brian, “honestly, this is when I would turn on the tv if he were older.” Brian agreed and I said “you don’t think he’d sit though the Charlie Brown Christmas Special…do you?” 

Now look. I read the NYTimes every day, especially the parenting section. I read the blogs. I’m aware that a lot of tv stimulation isn’t good for kids, especially babies. But here’s the thing: If Caleb’s awake, he won’t stop moving. Sometimes I just need him to rest his tiny little body. In my defense, this wasn’t a case of tv babysitter syndrome. I got Caleb’s pacifier and blankie and we all cuddled together on the couch watching a beloved children’s Christmas program. Caleb would bounce up and down to the music, occasionally laughing at something – I don’t know what considering he doesn’t understand more than the word “no” or his own name, but he found something amusing. It was such a nice family time and he sat quietly, resting for another round of play and dinnertime. Dinner was its own struggle- maybe he has a tooth coming in? Or his tummy hurt? All he wanted was his bottle and bed, to be honest. 

But now I’ve got this nice memory of the three of us hanging out together on a Sunday late afternoon, showing Caleb A Charlie Brown Christmas for the very first time, him clutching his blankie with his tiny hands sitting on his Daddy’s lap. And there’s no way I’m ashamed of that.