The Longest Week

Last Sunday, February 1^st, we Skyped with Brian’s family, like usual. I think just his parents were home at the time and we caught up on the house organizing and my upcoming birthday. I was looking forward to getting Caleb back into his routine after being sick and out of school much of the week before. 

On Monday morning we woke up to the text message from Brian’s family. “Call as soon as you’re up.” Brian’s beloved grandmother, who had been in hospice care at home, had passed away in the night. With that, we were off and running: notifying our workplaces, waiting for plans to be made, making travel decisions, packing suitcases, waiting to leave. We drove into the middle of Tuesday night, climbing over the Blue Ridge Mountains under a full moon. 

Wednesday was a blur of family in the midst of meals, naptimes and a lovely service. 

Thursday was travel again. I have to brag, Caleb is a superior traveling baby. He either slept or looked out the window the entire trip. It was like there wasn’t a baby in the back seat! Driving away was hard. We’re well aware of the need for support with our family right now and we had to comfort ourselves with the fact that we are not the only supporters for my in-laws. The trip home was painful and we finally distracted ourselves with Mindy Kaling’s book on tape, which made us laugh in a difficult time.

On Saturday we spent the day at the house with my family, including my little sister who flew in from LA late on Thursday night for a planned visit. We cleaned up the house, made two kinds of chili and two kind of cake, put artwork and pictures up on the wall and readied ourselves for a celebration of my birthday, which was Friday, with our new Nashville friends. I was so grateful for new friends who showed up to celebrate, but it was an emotional rollercoaster. 

My emotions have felt brittle this week, easy to break at the slightest provocation. It’s hard to go from the low of losing a family member to the high of a birthday celebration with cake and candles. I’m not sure we’re meant to handle that easily. 

On Sunday we Skyped with Brian’s family again. This time my in-laws were joined by my brothers and sister-in-law and our cousins and aunt and uncle. It was so good to see everyone’s face in the screen, looking like themselves and laughing. I’m grateful for all the ways we can connect and the fact that it was an easy decision to pack up the car and head to North Carolina for the funeral. That would have been a different conversation if we were still living in Milwaukee. It was also nice to have my parents ready to feed and comfort us when we got back to Nashville. I’m so glad for the support system that holds us together. It is invisible sometimes, like it’s made of thin fishing wire, but in the midst of the night of our souls it becomes glow-in-the-dark, lighting the path home.