"You're still pregnant? It's a boy." "Well, yes, we knew that 5 months ago, but thanks for the update."
"You were so fidgety in church on Sunday I was sure you were going into labor that afternoon!" "Nope, I'm just really, really uncomfortable. But I'll be sure to skip church this weekend so I won't bother you."
"Well, he'll be here by Friday night, I promise you. The pressure's going to drop drastically and it'll send you into labor." "Thanks, I'll plan on that. That doesn't sound like bogus science at all."
*Just a pantomime of my belly and a sad face from across the room.* Me: *Break eye contact and make no visible response.* (This happened multiple times.)
"It's too cold for that baby to come!" "Yup, we read him the weather every morning and he makes a decision on if that's a temperature he can handle or not."
In real life, all answers are smiles and nods. The italics are what's going through my brain but not coming out my mouth.
/EndRant
You're so much nicer than me. My sarcastic retorts will kick into hyperdrive when I'm prego. My responses will likely involve asking people to STFU about my ladyparts, lest I inquire about their netherregions.
ReplyDeleteBut, um, can I enter the pool for a Friday delivery? Because that pressure business sounds real accurate :-) Rant away, my friend.
Here's a list of things I think people should say instead of the stupid things you listed above:
ReplyDelete1. All my favorite babies were born after their due date.
2. Gosh, you were due Monday?! How is that possible?! You look so fresh and glowing--like you've still got a month or two left!
3. How great that you have a few extra days to enjoy taking care of him in this unique way that he'll never be cared for again!
4. *Brings you ALL THE CHOCOLATE*
What do you think?